I. Beware of the lightning that lurketh in seemingly
capacitors lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in an
useamanlike manner and cause thy hair to stand on end, therby exceeding
II. Cause thou the switch that supplieth large
quantities of juice to be
opened and thusly tagged, that thy days may be long in this earthly vale.
III. Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth
and upon which
thou worketh are grounded and thusly tagged, lest they lift thee to radio
frequency potential and causeth thee to radiate with the angels.
IV. Tarry thou not amongst those fools that engage in
shocks, for they are not long of this world and are surely unbelievers.
V. Take care thou useth the proper method when thou
taketh the measure
of high voltage so thou dost not incinerate both thee and thy test
equipment. For verily, though thou hast no NSN (National Stock Number)
and can be easily surveyed, the test equipment has one, and as a
consequence, bringeth much woe to thy supply officer.
VI. Take care thou tamperest not with interlocks and
safety devices, for
this incurreth the wrath of thy department head and bringeth the fury of
thy Commanding Officer on thy head.
VII. Work thou not on energized equipment without
proper procedures, for
if thou dost so, thy shipmates will surely be buying beers for thy widow
and consoling her in ways not generally acceptable to thee.
VIII. Verily, verily, I say unto thee, never service
equiment alone, for
electrical cooking is a slow process, and thou might sizzle in thine own
fat upon a hot circuit for hours on end before thy maker sees fit to end
thy misery and drag thee into his fold.
IX. Trifle thee not with radioactive tubes and
substances lest thou
commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug and thy wife be
frustrated and have no further use for thee except thy wages .
X. Commit thou to memory all the words of the prophets
which are written
down in the 300th chapter of thy bible which is the 'Naval Ship's
Technical Manual' and giveth out with the straight dope and counseleth
thee when thou hast suffered a ream job by thy division LPO (Leading
Last preventive maintenance on this page December 29, 2005